Emotional Flooding and ADHD: What you can do to Survive the Flood
The stories my family tell about me are legendary. There was the time when my 5 year old self cried for an hour because my sister got the last brownie. There were all the times I would become enraged because my parents insisted I help with something around the house when I was engrossed in a project. They thought it was cute every time I cried uncontrollably when Little Foot was left alone after his mother died in The Land Before Time. My family tells these stories with laughter and nostalgia. It’s not the same for me.
For me, these stories remind me of being a young girl experiencing big, intense, complicated emotions and not knowing why. Countless time in my life, I have been called overemotional, melodramatic, a drama queen and sensitive. I believed these things about myself for a very long time and it killed my self-esteem. I felt incapable and invalidated. I was convinced that I was completely broken, that there was something “wrong” about me.
So, What is Emotional Flooding?
Emotional flooding is when your entire body and mind are taken over by a strong emotion. It can be any emotion: anger, sadness, despair or even happiness. These emotions can be extremely intense, scary and usually come on very suddenly. It can feel as though you completely disappear in the feeling and have a difficult time processing it. When it hits, it can be difficult to focus on anything else. The only thing that exists in that moment is the intensity of the emotion.
Why do ADHD People Experience Emotional Flooding?
Executive function is a cognitive process that allows a person to plan and process. ADHD people have difficulty with their executive functions. One of those functions is emotional regulation. Your brain grabs the feeling and makes it nearly impossible for the other executive functions to do their job of regulating your response to it.
Emotional Flooding and RSD
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is a condition that causes people to have very strong emotional reactions to rejection or criticism, whether real or perceived. It’s symptoms include being flooded by strong emotions. RSD is a condition that has a high rate of comorbidity with ADHD.
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria symptoms may include:
Protectionist tendencies
Low self-esteem
Frequent emotional reactions caused by rejection or criticism
Anxiety
If you suspect that you may have RSD, I encourage you to consult your doctor, as it can be treated with medication.
How Can you manage Emotional Flooding?
In the moment, Emotional Flooding can be hard to manage. There are steps you can take to feel calmer and more in control of your emotions when a flood arrives.
1. Breathe
The best thing to do when you experience emotional flooding is to breathe. When we are experiencing the confusion and (sometimes) fear related to what is happening to us during emotional flooding, oxygen helps our brains escape the “fight or flight” that our we are experiencing. Breathing lowers our heart rate and helps us to calm.
2. Talk to someone you trust
If you can, speak to an empathetic family member or friend. When we experience emotional flooding, our inner-critic can take over and send us inaccurate or even false messages. It can be hard to trust our thoughts during a flood. Often, our loved ones are able to help us see it from a different perspective.
3. Take a break
During an emotional flooding episode, it can be nearly impossible to sort through our problems. Give yourself permission to take a break from trying to work through it in the moment. It will wait until you are in a calmer state of mind.
4. Change your surroundings
Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself during an emotional flooding episode is to give yourself a change of scenery. You could try going outside to breathe in the fresh air, sit in a warm bath or lay down on your bed.
5. Be kind to yourself
I know that the last thing you may want to do when you are feeling emotional is to be kind to yourself, but please hear me out. You need kindness now more than ever. Say kind things to yourself. Ask someone you love for a hug. Let your pet cuddle with you. Be kind to you. You deserve it.